Weathering the Storm

I realize I’ve let a few tides come and go since posting – I’ve been swimming to my own current. I did want to take a minute and allow this post to serve as an update to what I’ve been up to, future posts and travels coming. As I continue to write and post, I appreciate the feedback from those who send kind words.

Although, I took a break from posting, I didn’t take a break from writing or living. I’ll have a post coming soon about my travels to Colorado. I made a personal decision to stop sharing my poems [expressions] – I find that I write these the most and didn’t want to flood my blog with them, because I’m not sure that’s what my readers want to read.

As promised to be vulnerable with all of you, these past few months have been a roller coaster. Not only with the travels and fun things – but also the bad. I fell in and out of love for the first time. I lost one of my best friends, which was my fault. After 10 years of abdominal pain, I’ve sought medical help. Among other obstacles, there were days I thought I was drowning and days I was riding the best wave of my life.

“To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.” – Criss Jami

For the original goals I published in this blog, I told you I would be honest about my journey, so I’m held accountable. Below you’ll find those updates:

• My fitness experience is continuing. In the last couple months, I’ve relied heavily on working out to pull myself out of a funk.
• Although, my posts went silent for two months, I’ve continued writing and find that I enjoy this more than I ever thought I would.
• To be honest, after my piano instructor moved on to a better opportunity, I stopped. I wish it clicked with me and it’s still something I’d love to master but unfortunately, I don’t think it’ll happen before the year is over.
• New travels. My goal was one new country and three new states. I’m happy to report that I’ve done five new states (Oregon, Illinois, Wisconsin, Washington and Colorado) and I’ll leave in December and spend the beginning of 2019 in Costa Rica – thus fulfilling this goal completely.
• Less alcohol. I did very well at doing this for the first half of the year. I’ll fully admit over the past few months I fell off the surfboard. It was eye-opening and something I plan to have under control for the remaining of the year.
• 30 days of vegan. This is something I still want to do. As I’m seeing a Gastroenterologist for my abdominal issues, this is something that will have to wait. I’ve been given recommendations until the problem is discovered, not to change my diet dramatically.
• Learning Italian. This has taken a spot on the backburner, however I’m determined to increase my learning before the year is over.
• As for the job that I accepted when I started this blog, it’s been going great. I really enjoy my team and have made some great friends through it.
• I decided not to accept the offer into the graduate program I was accepted into. In my head I couldn’t validate taking a loan out on a graduate degree, when I haven’t finished paying off the one I have. One master’s degree will have to do for now. I’m hoping the experiences and skills I’m building will help in lieu.

These are my quick updates. I’ll be sure and do at least one more update before the year is over. Be on the lookout for the Colorado post coming next. I’m also working on a couple topics I feel strongly about – I just want them to be perfect before publishing. And the poems are still pouring out of me – maybe I’ll publish one every now and then.

 “Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy – the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” – Brené Brown

As I navigate the waves and tides thrown at me, I know I’m not alone. I wasn’t the first and won’t be the last to survive heartache and rejection. I’m not the first to cause the loss of a friend – finding I need to forgive myself before I can expect them to forgive me. Mother Nature throws the rain and wind at us to test our strength. Weather the storm and the light will come back out. Fortunately, I have my notebook and this blog as an outlet to ride out my wave.