European Escape

This exploration is a reflection from a year ago exactly. My cousin/travel partner and I sporadically decided over Christmas 2016 that we would take a European adventure. We set flight alerts to fly in and out of Germany, but we would travel by train to other countries and had some time to piece together our itinerary. By February a flight from DC to Munich was just over $500 (it costs more for me to fly home for Christmas). We didn’t think we’d get a better deal, so we booked them. With further research and excitement flooding our heads, we settled on the Netherlands, Germany, Czech Republic, Austria, and Italy. Doing my best to recap our travels to 5 countries, this post may be a little longer than others, as I want to share as many details as possible in case any of you readers want to pick up and do it yourself.

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Before we begin, I’ll note how we afforded all of this. I use Skyscanner to search for flights and set alerts, so I’m notified when they increase and decrease. Is it the cheapest flight search? – maybe not, but it’s very user friendly and I like it. After researching train tickets in advance, we read in multiple places that those fluctuate, and it would be smarter to buy day of (which was true). Our train tickets ranged from $20 to just over $100 for our most expensive. Next came lodging, our first night we stayed with my cousin’s college friend who is currently living in Germany, so that’s where we began. We considered Airbnb’s, but luckily my other cousin (travel cousin’s sister) has a family and friends discount with Marriott through her employer – we capitalized on this for our entire trip. In terms of excursions and touristy sites, many were free. We were also surprised how much cheaper food and beverages (minus water) were everywhere.

Our shortest trip was to Amsterdam in the Netherlands. Technically this was a layover from DC to Munich, however we had a full day, so we left the airport and went out to adventure. Between my trek from Austin to DC to Amsterdam – I was a mess. After getting our bearings straight and deciding food was first. We went to a nice little café on the river, next to the Heineken factory. Can’t go to Amsterdam and not have a Heineken. This was also where I learned you must pay to use the restroom… Ok, different. Truly, we kind of got lost in this city just wandering around. We started in Dam Square that eventually led to Dappermarkt, which is a street market – imagine a United States’ farmer’s market on steroids. I should also note that Amsterdam is a very bicycle focused city – I’m talking thousands, everywhere. We walked along the Amstel River, eventually blindly walking into the Red-Light District. Even during the day this area is just like the rumors one may hear – I can only imagine what it would be like after dark. After escaping the advances of many, we found a pub for lunch, just in time to run in from the rain. The best fresh squeezed orange juice I’ve ever had. I hope to revisit this city again one day, where I’ll have more time to explore all it has to offer, but in the meantime, it was a great prelude.

 

Landing in Munich and getting to Central Station, came our first experience with the train system – it didn’t go well. This was our only language barrier we ran into. The person we asked at the station thought we said Hamberg instead of Amberg and we were headed the wrong way… People on the train again couldn’t understand us pronouncing the difference. We got off the train, my lunch was seasoned with a dust storm from another train going by and I brushed my teeth on the train tracks. I’d been up for over 30 hours now and I was bringing nothing to the table to help. It was beginning to get dark and panic was setting in with my cousin. We finally made communication with her friend who got us going in the right direction and decided to pick us up at a different train station that was closest to us. Bless. We arrived at their home and I’ve never been more grateful for a spread of vegetables, meats and cheeses. It was everything and more. Then came the hot shower followed by a bed.

We slept in until 9am that Sunday, had another wonderful breakfast prepared by the hosts and then came our tour of Amberg. This town is just like a children’s fairytale book. It is the culture that nothing happens on Sunday – it is a day of rest. So, the town was mainly deserted as people stay home. We went to the train station to go into Regensburg where a festival was happening – the best way to describe this would be Oktoberfest meets state fair. A fun day and my demise. We rode rides and played games like we were teenagers again, eating genuine German food. The steins of beer overpowered me. I had been sober 45 days before this trip, just on a cleanse and wasn’t prepared for those German beers. They got the best of me… in every way possible. We made it home and passed out. We were to leave Monday morning by 7am for our train into Prague, so I was a struggle bus. It was about a 3-4-hour train ride to Prague and I slept the first half. Got that out of my system – moving on!

 

Prague was easily one of my top 3 favorite international cities I’ve ever been to, I cannot wait to return. We stayed in Prague from Monday to Wednesday, so we had a couple full days to venture around. We saw the Old Town Hall, Old Town Hall Tower and the Prague Astronomical Clock – this is also where the city hosts their Christmas markets. I can only imagine how beautiful it is during the holiday season. Our walk across the Charles Bridge, led us straight to the Prague Castle and St. Vitus Cathedral, which we toured. After these festivities, we had the most beautiful lunch on the river where we had a bottle of wine, two waters each, an appetizer and our actual lunch’s – all for $40. I was blown away by how much cheaper everything is in Prague. Following lunch, we did what I wanted to do most, and we went to the infamous John Lennon Wall. Following this we got ice cream in cones made from donuts!! Why this hasn’t taken off in the United States, I’ll never know. As we continued our exploration of Prague, we also saw the Basilica of St. George, toured the Museum of Communism (I personally didn’t know the rich history of Prague and WWII), and went to U Medvidku Beer Hall so we could try X-Beer 33 (the strongest beer in Europe/also thick like syrup).

 

Vienna, Austria was our next destination. Although we would only be here for 2 days, it was important for us to squeeze in as much as we could. I think what surprised us the most is our hotel room was legitimately across from a palace – casual. We decided to start this city by going first to Schonnbrunn Palace, this palace was breathtaking. The gardens, architecture, absolutely all of it. And the biggest bonus is the Schonnbrunn Zoo is right next to it. Not only do my cousin and I love animals, this is also the oldest zoo in the world, so we felt we had to go. In addition to that bonus, when we left the zoo and came back out to the palace, the Phil Harmoniker was setting up for an event. Though we didn’t hear them play for the event, we were able to stay and listen to them practice. Incredible. Walking through Heldenplatz, we saw St. Stephen’s Cathedral and many other buildings and palaces – what was most interesting about Vienna was the buildings all implementing teal and gold accents into the architecture.

 

Following Vienna, came Venice. My absolute favorite – hence why one of my 2018 goals was to learn Italian. I have every intention of returning to this country and my hope is to be fluent. And what a treat we had when we arrived. The Marriott Venice is on a private island (this was our splurge city), so we boarded a private water taxi and headed over there. Upon entering the hotel lobby, I immediately spotted Giorgio Armani – so my thoughts went to ok, it’s that kind of place. It was already into the afternoon, so we changed into our bathing suits to go and lay by the rooftop pool and enjoy some wine and a meat/cheese spread.

 

After soaking up some Vitamin D and snacking, we showered and ordered our water taxi to head back into the city for some exploring and dinner. Throughout this trip it should be noted that we traveled via the Grand Canal for all of it. I mention this because if you look up things to do in Venice, this is on the list but I’m not sure how you’d visit Venice and not at some point be on the Grand Canal. Anyhow, our first night had us venturing into Saint Mark’s Square, where St. Mark’s Basilica and Campanile di San Marco are also located. Many articles and blogs will tell you to get lost in this city and I couldn’t agree more. We wandered with the day light we had left and stumbled upon the Torre dell’Orologio until popping into a local’s restaurant for some red wine and fresh pasta.

 

Venice was the city we chose to spend the most time in and it was well worth it. Other beautiful sights to see were the Rialto Bridge, Bridge of Sighs, Santa Maria Farmosa, and Doge’s Palace. We were also touristy and did a Gondola Ride – well worth it, our guide even sang to us in Italian. Aside from staying in Venice, we took a day trip to Burano Island, where the island is painted with bright rainbow colors and they’re known for their creative arts. We each walked away with multiple purchases.

 

Our last night in Venice was textbook perfect. We went to another local’s restaurant where we feasted on wine, appetizers, entrees, and dessert. The staff liked us so much, the next thing we knew they were bringing us limoncello shots. Even without counting this kind gesture, I can absolutely say that every restaurant staff member we encountered in Venice was genuinely amazing to us.

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After saying goodbye to my favorite city, we boarded what would be our longest train ride back to Munich to spend a few days before flying back to the United States.

We arrived in Munich that evening and even though we had just left Italy, surprisingly Munich is known for it’s pizza, so that’s what we had and prepared the details for the rest of our trip.

The next morning was our hardest day of the trip, emotionally. We bought our tickets and went to Dachau Concentration Camp. As incredible as it is to see with your own eyes and stand where history took place, it’s very taxing. Without giving a history lesson, one thing I learned was that the Dachau camp was the first concentration camp created and the last to be liberated. We watched actual footage of the liberation, we saw the gas chambers, replicas of barracks, and many memorials that have since been added to the site. World War II is something that has always captivated us, as both of our grandfathers served; therefore, the holocaust was important to us and visiting a camp while there was at the top of our list.

 

From here on out our goal was to see as much of Munich as we could and finish our trip strong. We conquered Marienplatz and Angerviertel, saw St. Paul’s Cathedral, and enjoyed our last German beers at Augustine Keller Beer Garden. I was surprised how modern Munich is compared to the other cities we had ventured to, the unexpected cost to use the bathroom, the looks we got for ordering so much water, and the food portions were wild.

 

All in all, this nearly 2-week European Escape with my cousin was a blessing. Not only did it bring us closer together, I got to see more of the world I long to see, fell in love with Italy, and can’t wait to plan our next international trip.

“You only get one life. It’s actually your duty to live it as fully as possible.” – Will Traynor

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sculptor.

i can’t believe how long it took me.

to realize.

i have been blind.

i owe so much to you.

 

you gave me my soul.

not by birth.

by inspiration.

i never noticed it before.

 

with my art.

and teaching me how to draw.

with my writing.

encouraging me at a young age.

 

with my passion for music.

always playing the piano.

with my love for reading.

when did you not have a book in your hand?

 

i’m sorry it took so long.

all of my creativity.

has been a foundation.

that you built.

 

you’ve handed me the tools.

to craft myself.

from clay to stone and back.

forever changing.

“what is bad for the heart is good for art. the terrible irony of our lives as artists.”
– Guillermo Garcia

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numbness.

i spent months writing.

two letters.

similar but different.

when would i send?

 

there’s no right time.

rip the band-aid off.

just do it.

sent.

 

welcome to my secret.

holding my breath.

letting you in.

vulnerable.

 

the waiting game.

one response immediate.

exactly what i was expecting.

nothing like i was hoping.

 

our course has now changed.

the wind in our sails.

forever different.

a new horizon.

 

i blame ignorance.

penny for your thoughts?

should someone else share.

i hope you react different.

 

where’s the relief?

i heard so much about it.

i was expecting it.

i feel numb.

 

it is what it is.

accept it.

or don’t.

i’ll move on either way.

 

second response.

hours later.

5 to be exact.

[im]patiently waiting.

 

i said take your time.

i’m pacing.

my stomach churning.

only half the party tunes in.

 

we talk for almost an hour.

it goes exceptionally well.

that relief is coming.

i can feel it.

 

tears are shed.

laughs are had.

new information is heard.

a greater bond.

 

weathered this storm before.

i’ll survive it again.

i’ve got my ship.

with the crew i need.

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Collision

no one wants to be alone.

i’ve just gotten used to it.

i’m seeking you.

craving your scent.

 

it’s almost unbearable.

i want to drown in your sea.

breathe me in.

sink into me.

 

i feel you.

primal.

i long for it.

swimming in your eyes.

 

i wonder if i’ve already met you.

come back to me, if so.

joy and pain.

all of my senses.

 

longing for you.

kiss me at midnight.

wake up with you.

inscribe your name in my soul.

 

crash into me.

be my favorite color.

lets light up life.

dance in the rain.

 

happily ever after.

is it forecasted?

lets write this story.

and weather it all.

 

“I will take the bullet. You can sign your name on my heart. You pull me in and you love me deeper than the ocean. Your name’s written in my scar.” – Shireen Cutkelvin

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An Odyssey of Oregon

Swimming Monday through Friday from eight to five in the education field, I am fortunate enough to also receive a ‘spring break.’ For the first time in eight years, I did not spend it with my friend group – I decided solo or with others I was going to explore somewhere new.

I set my flight alerts on to multiple destinations and monitored the increases and decreases in price. Mid-January the price to Portland, Oregon hit a number I was comfortable with and booked the flight without blinking an eye.

Luckily a friend from college lives in Portland – Hello, friend, give me all the recommendations. Places to go, things to see, where to eat, where to stay, etc.

I immediately called my cousin/travel partner and offered her to join me on this adventure. Then it was settled, I’d get the rental car – she’d book the Airbnb. Similar to our European Escape (coming soon), I took on the duties of creating our itinerary.

Next was the countdown. We couldn’t wait.

My flight arrival was after hers (her luggage was lost). By the time I got to the house (we stayed in the Alberta/Mississippi district), we were both starving. We decided to head down to our district’s version of downtown and to our first Portland meal at Por Que No? The line was out the door – must be a good sign! The first thing we noticed on the door was the sign below (later to be spotted in all stores, bars, and restaurants). We were mesmerized with how inclusive this city was just in the first hour. Outside of the restaurant hung a rainbow flag, a Black Lives Matter sign, other signs supporting DACA and the Dreamers; these are just to name a few. It was incredible. The food and staff were just as amazing. I had sweet potato tacos with a home brewed purple tea. After dinner we walked down the street and stopped at local brewery, StormBreaker Brewing. Again, such wonderful staff and great beer. We went over the rest of the trip’s itinerary and then returned home to await the arrival of her luggage. With time differences, we’d been up for 24 hours and I struggled to remain awake with her – I failed. When I awoke the next morning, my thoughts were, “well I hope the suitcase delivery man didn’t murder her.” Great news, all was alive and well.

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*As these adventures start, please note that all parking in Portland is parallel parking. Great.

We started our day at Tasty N’ Sons for an amazing brunch. Brunch here is more of a tapas environment, so we enjoyed chocolate potato doughnuts, sweet biscuits with a blueberry compote and whipped cream (still swooning), potatoes bravas with an over easy egg and aioli sauce, and the hangtown fry which was oysters with all the breakfast fixings.

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After brunch, we headed into the woods for a short (long) hike to see the infamous Witch’s Castle in Forest Park. We were stunned how active the trail was to get to the castle and the number of runners running on these thin trails that one slip in the mud would send them barreling down a mountain side. The Witch’s Castle was definitely a tourist site to see and gave us 90’s Hocus Pocus kids a great sense of spook. From the hike down and back up a mountain, next came something a little more leisurely. We decided to head to the Rose Test Garden. Pictures of this garden were breathtaking – well, wrong time of year. Garden was dead… zero life. We considered going to the Japanese Garden or the Lan Su Chinese Garden, but we found out there was a fee associated with entering those and after the Rose Garden, we decided to keep going.

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*It should be noted that Portland has a huge Asian past and culture. It was very interesting to learn more about this.

Multnomah Falls was only 40 minutes away, so we made our trek out there. A beautiful drive along the Columbia River the whole way, led us right up to the waterfall. In fact, when we got there, we were trying to figure out how far we’d have to hike until we looked up and it was directly in front of our faces. Breathtaking.

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We thought we were headed to the SE Wine Collective (12 wineries represented) for lunch and a wine tasting, but we took a different turn and ended up at a different wine shop. Still had a wonderful tasting with bread and cheese spreads – even walked away with a few bottles.

At this point, we were within walking distance of House of Vintage, which I read about online and knew it was on Hawthorne Street – a great shopping location. House of Vintage turned out to be enormous and truly too much to look at, so we decided to instead walk up and down the street and stop in local stores and purchased some treasures.

Back to our districts version of downtown, we popped into a local pizza place that had a Zebra statue outside, where we enjoyed some fresh slices and local brews. After that we then went and had ice cream. I of course went for the lavender and honey hybrid. Two of my favorite things. Sunday would be an early morning, so perfect way to end the night.

Blue Star Donuts was our first stop as we headed out to the coast. Per a recommendation, Cape Kiwanda State National Area was our destination. The most beautiful drive and just the right amount of time for us to talk and catch up on everything. My favorite. Cape Kiwanda was unreal, truly incredible. We got there by 9am, so the only other people out there were the morning surfers. One thing I immediately noticed was the lack of sea shells, instead near and far between were perfectly smoothed small black rocks. Pelican Brewery sits right there on the ocean and stole our afternoon lunch appetites.

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Driving down the coast towards Depoe Bay for our whale watching appointment. The Pacific coast is something that should be on everyone’s bucket list. We saw pictures of the previous sightings and were told just the day before there had been two whale breaching’s. The odds were in a favor. Once we were out 3-5 miles, we followed two whales for about an hour. It was unbelievable. I hope to do this again one day. Patience and warm jackets are key.

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After our whale watching excursion, back in the car to head back up the coast to Cannon Beach for a sunset and dinner. If you’ve seen the movie, The Goonies, you’ll recognize the giant rock at Cannon Beach. We arrived with about an hour to go until the sunset, so we enjoyed the beach and the great weather we were told we brought with us. We watched the sun set over the Pacific Ocean, dancing around this rock. Simply stunning. Instead of our original dinner destination, we just went into the Town of Cannon Beach and ended up at the Sweet Basil Café. We were wet and cold at this point – red wine was our goal. Quoting my cousin, “I want to be sweating when we leave here.” This was easily my favorite meal of the trip. A veggie tortilla soup, followed by a mushroom and polenta with fresh veggies dish. I could eat it again every day. After a full day of coastal travels, we headed back to Portland to call it a night.

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Monday morning took us back downtown to start our day at Voodoo Donuts, right across from the infamous Keep Portland Weird sign. The best blueberry cake donut, anywhere. This is when I kept our itinerary very open for us to have a free day. Followed by pictures with the giant Paul Bunyan Statue; we considered the Oregon Zoo (nah), doing the Portland Underground Walking Tour (more of that learning the Asian history) – but it only had a 2pm timeslot open… (nah). After a brief walk back down our districts’ downtown and pit stop for coffee at Jory Coffee, we decided to drive out to Mount Hood; a potentially active stratovolcano in Oregon. It was crazy to think the day before we only drove an hour west to the coast and here we were driving an hour east into the snowy mountains. We saw Mount Hood after an almost ‘run out of gas’ moment, and it was more breathtaking than a pictures’ justice.

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From there, we drove to Naked Winery in Hood River, Oregon. Being the two people, we are, we made friends with our sommelier who in addition to our requested tasting, allowed us to also try their house specials. After our time there, he pointed to a bridge out the window about a football field away and said on the other side was the state of Washington if we wanted to go, he could offer some more recommendations. Well, you don’t have to tell us twice. We were in the car headed for Washington.

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Unfortunately, some of the places he recommended were closed that Monday, but we were able to frequent a brewery and try some Washington beers and go to a restaurant for some loaded Washington tots.

The night was still early so on our drive back to Portland, we stopped at Pine Street Market. A place that offers multiple food business all in one giant dining hall. Pizza and ice cream again won us over. I’m seeing a trend here. From there, we went to Reverend Nat’s Hard Cider for a flight of his ciders. Delicious. His two originals, were by far my favorites.

Tuesday morning came, and I had to take my cousin to the airport. The infamous Oregon rain was back. I started with an acai bowl downtown and walked to Powell’s Book that kept me dry and busy for the next hour and a half.

Despite the rain, there was still more I wanted to see outside. So, I headed to the Redwood Grove Hoyt Arboretum, to take in the Redwoods. After some time imagining how old they were and if anyone could wrap their arms around one, I decided to head to The Grotto. This is a destination of trails with Catholic figures made into nature. I’m not Catholic, but still found it incredibly peaceful and stunning all the same. I then tried my first vegan restaurant, Bye & Bye. It was phenomenal.

I spent the rest of my afternoon, walking around and taking in more of this city. I went back to the house and packed my bags, so I wouldn’t have to later that night. I made my way back to StormBreaker Brewing, where I tried a couple more of their home beers and chatted with the staff. I took a new book with me, and as I sat there reading and reflecting on this city and trip – I was overcome with an unusual feeling. For the first time in my life, I felt as if I was where I was supposed to be. Friend from college and I were then able to meet down the street at Ecliptic Brewing for some dinner and other local beer. It’s always great catching up with an old friend and seeing their success in life. I thanked him for all the recommendations and shared that this city had captivated me.

Following our departure, I went home and prepared for my morning flight. The flight home was filled with new books and a sadness of leaving this unbelievable city and state. Until next time, Oregon.

“If you think adventure is dangerous, try routine, it’s lethal.” – Unknown

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Resilient from the Depths

you broke me.

like a shark ripping through a seal.

a twig in a hurricane.

shattered.

 

i was new.

i was looking for friends.

& acceptance.

i was naïve.

 

it’s a day i’ll never get back.

what i’d do or trade to do so.

i think about it everyday.

i can’t go back though.

 

dirty.

shame.

like a hangover.

when would the sickness leave?

 

hindsight is always 20/20.

i missed all of the signs.

i still feel stupid.

i have to move forward.

 

i dealt with it on my own.

for almost a year.

i confided in friends.

that helped.

 

i moved away.

new city.

new beginning.

start over.

 

you were relentless.

texts, emails…

never giving up.

i never responded.

 

just go away.

i fear i’ll run into you.

i fear i’ll see you somewhere.

i want to forget you.

 

everyone after you will pay for it.

i hate that.

i don’t want that.

i’m trying to shake that.

 

i’ve created fight songs.

i’m riding out the wave.

i still have more to do.

i still have more to give.

 

you broke me.

i’m putting the pieces back together.

the new sand castle has imperfections.

but it’ll be the right build for someone.

 

I will not be broken.

“When people build up walls, they end up keeping other people out… but they’re also keeping themselves in.” – Karamo Brown

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vulnerability.

When I created this blog, I truly had no idea which way it would flow. I simply wanted to try blogging as an outlet and platform to surf through my thoughts. In my original post, I made the statement that I would be a little more intimate in that post than I would be in the future. As I continue to write and receive feedback, that statement is now false.

“…understand that being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of strength. It shows that you are in tune with yourself.” – Karamo Brown

After my last post (Matured by Mermaids), a dear friend followed my post by sharing, “I just want to give you a big hug… We need more of you in this world. I’m so proud to know you!! You have such a beautiful soul!!!” My response was simply a huge thank you for reading it and having such positive feedback. The following message said, “I can’t say enough about how much I love what you are writing!! The topics you are covering, the vulnerability, the honest and hard truth, we need this!!”

This reaction is giving me more confidence to write about a lot of different things I’d like to share with the world. Whether they reach one person or all the fish in the sea, it’ll be worth it.

I’ve titled this post, vulnerability because from here on out, I will be vulnerable with you all. I’d like to start by sharing an update to those goals I posted in my first post.

  • I’m continuing my journey with fitness. Some weeks I work out one day, others I work out five days. It’s not consistent, but it’s working for me. Swim to your own current.
  • Blogging is obviously taking off here. I didn’t know I’d enjoy writing so much. I’ve actually found a blog class so I can make my content better, and am looking into organizing this blog so it’s easier to follow and access.
  • Piano… this one is still going with lessons every Thursday evening, however it’s definitely more difficult than I was anticipating. Once I can master reading music, I’ll master the keys.
  • One new country and three new states. New country hasn’t happened (yet), but I have been able to visit two out of three states. I can scratch Oregon and Washington off my map.
  • Less alcohol. Happy to report that for the months of January and February I went sober, cold turkey for a full 60 days. Although I will join in now for beverages, I’m still on my quest of eliminating liquor.
  • Trying vegan for 30 days. I’m looking to accomplish this, this summer.
  • Learning Italian.. I don’t dedicate as much time to this as I’d like, but I’m still learning. Passed my first test. Many more to go though.
  • New job: woohoo!! In case you hadn’t heard, I did accept a new position about a month ago and couldn’t be happier with the transition.
  • On the topic of going back to school. I was accepted into the program and school that I was hoping to attend this upcoming Fall. I haven’t accepted the offer yet… just making sure all my ducks are in a row before committing to another masters program.

These are my updates. Again, I encourage you all to hold me accountable with these aspirations. I’ll continue writing about topics I have strong feelings about, a poem that I need to get out, and/or just life updates.

“You can’t selectively numb feelings. So if you try to numb the vulnerability, you also numb joy, happiness, connection. You can’t have connection and joy and happiness without vulnerability.” – Jonathan Van Ness

I’ve spent enough of my life making myself numb to feelings and the world. Using this blog as an outlet and surrounding myself with cheerleaders, I give you my word to be more vulnerable and ask that you all ride the wave with me.

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Matured by Mermaids

Being a 27-year-old man, one could say I have multiple characteristics that could be viewed as feminine. I used to be embarrassed by this… the older I’ve gotten, the more I realize how fortunate I am. If a post about the importance of not just women but strong women doesn’t interest you, all I ask is that you anchor down and read about my journey with this incredible gender and my personal crusade to advocate for gender equality.

As Emma Watson says, “I have realized that fighting for women’s rights has too often become synonymous with man-hating. If there is one thing I know for certain, it is that this has to stop.”

I was raised surrounded by women; it was an all hands-on deck event – I call this matured by mermaids.

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Growing up, I was the only boy on both sides of my family. I have one male cousin; however, he is so much older than I am, his children are my age. A large family of female cousins and one older sister, led me to become comfortable around women from an early age and what I’m grateful for most, is I was taught how to respect them. Family members weren’t the limit, fortunately for me I was raised with family friends’ daughters who became sisters – relationships we maintain today. Truly a crew of women and one cabin boy on this ship.

Out of everyone in my family, I speak to my Grandma the most. I make it a point to talk to her at least once a week on the phone. If there is anyone I could pick up and bring with me anywhere, it would be her. Being the grandchild that moved the furthest away, it’s very consoling to hear her tell me although she misses me, how proud she is that I “got out” and am out living and building my own life. Although, she is from a generation where women were expected to stay home, my Grandma had a very fulfilling job in Social Work, while raising twins with my Grandfather by her side. She has always pushed my sister and cousins to be the best they can. She is the oldest women’s advocate I personally know. I had the privilege of hearing former Vice President, Joe Biden speak last month primarily about women’s right and fighting sexual assault/harassment on college campuses, in the work place and in the home. I knew my Grandma would love to hear all about this. When I called and told her all about the speech, I could hear the glow in her voice and that’s when she shared with me that she’s followed his political career from the start and has always been a fan of his. I couldn’t be prouder to have her genes and compassion running through my veins.

The role of matriarch on my Mom’s side of the family belonged to her older sister, for my Grandmother passed away when I was young. The stories I have heard of my Grandmother is one of intense loyalty and perseverance; characteristics I like to think I received from her. My aunt was easily one of my closest family members – and one of the strongest people I knew. I don’t remember us speaking of topics such as women’s rights, however I recall her opinion on certain things and knowing her acceptance of all and her intolerance of weak people (must be where I get it from), I feel if she were still alive today, she and I would have endless conversations about the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements. Finding the humor in any situation, while also teaching me the importance of showing vulnerability as a man are two of the biggest life lessons I carry with me from her. The current beneath my fins.

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The role model who paved the way for me. My cousin that I will often reference has no idea the influence she has had and will continue to have on me. The first to go to a college where she didn’t know anyone, the first to study abroad, the first to join a sorority, the first to move to a new city and establish herself –  these are just to name a few. When it came time for me to go to college, I decided to go out of state where I didn’t know anyone, I went abroad twice, I joined a fraternity, after graduation I moved to a new state for a new beginning. This mermaid is the ultimate Queen. Her direction, determination, and ethic are unwavering. Being the free spirit of the family, I would probably be adrift in the sea somewhere if not for her. She continues to lead by example for me and this has only brought us closer. Our constant phone calls and traveling trips, keep me grounded and push me to be the best I can be. Instead of leaving big shoes for me to fill, she’s walked the path holding another set putting foot prints right next to hers, so I can journey with her – for this, I will always be grateful.

Being raised in a family that has mermaid statues taller than any other I struggle with some women in my family and their lack of knowledge on current movements and their lack of respect for their own gender. It blows my mind. Here we are raised by the same women, surrounded among one another and as adults we disagree on so many topics. I’m advocating for their rights more than they are. We’ve had many discussions sometimes leading to arguments on women’s equality. Before I tackle equality for all, I must start with one cause at a time.

“If one man can destroy everything. Why can’t one girl change it?”

-Malala Yousafzai

Who would I be if I was raised by these sirens, but didn’t do any advocating myself? Good news, I don’t know the answer to that. I’m sure there is more I can do, and I will strive for that, but I did want to share some personal experiences. I was recently at a bar and witnessed firsthand the countless “moves” put on an uninterested girl. Take a hint. I made eye contact with the young woman and I suppose she could tell I was sympathizing, so I walked over, got in between them, thanked him for keeping her company until I got there, and we pretended we knew each other. After he dispersed, she thanked me, and we went about our night. So simple. Maybe every scenario won’t be as simple, but who are we if we just sit back and watch?

Another topic I frequently run aground on with my family is transphobia. Trans women are women. Trans men are men. Accept it. I work alongside these individuals and they are no different than anyone, only born in the wrong body (more common than one thinks).

One thing I make sure I’m vocal about at work is parental leave for newborns – this is for maternity and paternity leave – 12 weeks paid at the bare minimum. In addition to work place leave, I’ve been in scenarios where it’s a panel of all men – ask where the women are?? Force an answer.

For men who want to help and truly don’t know where to start, start by clicking here and reading. Remember the top three things: Listen. Advocate. Engage. If you find yourself needing more practical tips in supporting women, check out this article.

“All men should be feminists. If men cared about women’s rights, the world would be a better place.”

-John Legend

Blessed is a word that comes to mind when I think about the next person, who is a true land mermaid. What began as an acquaintance as my friend’s girlfriend, she is now truly the epitome of a confidant and support system. Always a text away or shoulder to lean on. I am most grateful for her because we’re able to share our views on the topic of women (among others) – this can range from a documentary one of us saw, an article read, needing to vent on a witnessed experience, or simply what more can we do? Before her I’d never met someone more willing to advocate for anyone. We have a passion on living in an inclusive city together and changing the world in our own forms of art and activism. She is the wake to the water I surround myself with.

I look at my 5-year-old niece and hope from being states away I am instilling in her the strength I want her to have. I want this little girl to change the world. As she watches Disney movies, I do not want her to want to be a princess that needs saving; I want her to want to be the Queen – she can handle it herself. When a boy tells her, she runs or hits like a girl, I hope she runs faster than every boy and knocks a home run out of the park. She doesn’t have to be first mate, when she can be the Captain. When she sees another girl sitting by herself at lunch she won’t put her down but go sit with her and gain a new friend. I want her to reject anyone or anything that ever makes her feel like she doesn’t belong, doesn’t fit in or isn’t good enough. Just as Love, Simon is to LGBTQIA+ youth today, I hope she’s Wonder Woman and knows that her possibilities are endless. Thankful for a new era in the media, projecting these films. I hope in 20 years she’s leading women’s marches in Washington DC and advocating for those less fortunate or different than she and her brother. My goal is to turn this family into a force of advocacy.

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You’ll see a trend here. The strongest women building me up from day one to make sure my journey is filled with respect for all. So, with that said:

Sisters, Girls, Moms, Grandmas, Friends, Fighters, Coworkers, Ladies,

#TimeIsNow – shatter the patriarchy

There is no limit to what women can accomplish. Period. But can you imagine what all could be accomplished with men also supporting them?

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If you’re not outraged, you’re not paying attention.

The utmost appreciation and gratification to the mermaids that matured me.

mermaids

do you remember?

we first saw each other in class.

intro to logic.

that night i had a friend request from you.

kept that joy internalized for years.

 

nothing happens.

who are we?

what would we talk about?

all i know is your name.

 

the next year you live across the street.

we become bolder.

texting isn’t rare but not everyday.

i love it when i see your name on the screen.

 

one night i have confidence.

after many drinks i come over.

we make bloody mary’s.

we talk books until 4am.

 

i move away.

communication continues.

i move back.

communication stops.

 

we chat here and there.

one night i see you out.

i decide to go for it.

i leave my friends and stay with you.

 

we go to a new place.

i lose you in the crowd.

you find me.

we leave. Together.

 

aside from kissing, nothing further happens.

that’s all I needed.

we wake up together.

i love it.

 

i remember everything about that morning.

 

we get out of bed.

you hide the roommate’s cat.

i’m allergic.

so thoughtful.

 

you make me breakfast.

bagel with cream cheese.

scrambled eggs.

a green smoothie & fresh pineapple.

 

you take me home.

i’m glowing.

i see you out that night.

i keep it short and distant.

 

why am I embarrassed?

i want this.

i’ve always wanted this.

i’m not ready for this.

 

that was it.

 

you went on a new adventure.

i went on my own.

i donate to your charities annually.

i think of you often.

 

i deleted you from social media.

it’s hard to see your face.

i want to know what could have happened.

do you remember? any of this?

 

recalling your body and voice.

you’re still perfect.

any of this sound familiar?

now or never.

 

“isn’t it a tragic thing. when you can see it so clearly but the other person doesn’t.” – rupi kaur

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Drifting through the Waves

First and foremost, thanks for checking out my first blog post.

This post will be a little more intimate than I’ll probably share in the future, as it comes with a bit of self-reflection from the transition of 2017 to 2018 and the realization of self-growth, while balancing the differences with close friends and working on finding that common ground between us.

As I’ve come to realize, I dove into 2017; deep end and all – holding my breath and swimming until I felt some sort of bottom. I was the epitome of that #yearofme or #yearofyes attitude. I had never been a believer in writing down goals or aspirations because if they weren’t met, they wouldn’t be looking back at me. I had plenty of successes, plenty of ups and downs, and plenty of travels through 2017. All in all, memories I couldn’t have dreamt of were made, laughs were had, and cries flooded the sea.

As tradition I brought in the new year with those closest to me, in a new city as we do each year. Being the one who lives the furthest away with no one in our circle even within driving distance, I don’t know if it was the excitement of being together or being in a city where no one knew me… the end result… I welcomed 2018 wishing I could do it over. I was with those that I love most, but I made poor decisions and here we are nearly 2 months in and I’m still thinking of those decisions. To the group they were nothing, but being the one who internalizes everything, has me still thinking about them. As I traveled back to my river, I decided changes were going to be made. For the first time I created a list of goals and aspirations and took them one step further – I expanded them from a list to a full bulletin board in my bedroom so I see them everyday. I’m going to make myself a little vulnerable and publish those goals so everyone who reads this can help hold me accountable.

  • Fitness
  • Blogging
  • Learn Piano
  • 1 New Country
  • 3 New States
  • Less Alcohol
    • Try Eliminating Liquor
  • Try Vegan for 30 Days
  • Read 1 Book per Month
  • Learn Italian
  • New Job
  • Go Back to School

I’m happy to report that a couple of those goals have already been achieved and the others are in progress. I’m determined that I won’t put any on the back burner.

As I navigate my self-growth and continue to find my balance, I’ve come to realize even more the importance of those we surround ourselves with. Being the one who has considered close friends family and fortunate enough to have that support group, I’ve also come to realize how different we are and at times the struggle to continue finding that common ground.

It wasn’t until recent where I struggled with this topic with two friends who I would consider among my closest. One I realized on my own and the other was pointed out to me. Although we talk almost everyday and remain close as ever with distance, it wasn’t until he visited for the first time since I moved to Texas how different our opinions and thought processes are. I felt lucky that we are still close enough to point each others differences out, but a part of me wants more. What’s happened that has put us on opposite ends of the spectrum for so many important topics? This is a friendship I have no concern will wash away, just a little more effort in communicating is needed. My second example of this was the one that had to be pointed out to me – my closest friend here in the river country and I have recently had our speed bumps. I blamed it on the recent distance (actual miles) that we’ve had to battle. We went from seeing each other every weekend to simply phone calls and text messages. Tones of texts can be misconstrued which leads to distance and by the time we got around to addressing it, we’d both realized how different we’ve both become since we met. 2017 was a huge year for both of us. We were each an integral part in each others growth, and I hope that we will find that common ground again that we once had.

The support circle I referenced earlier and those I brought in the new year with are one in the same. It wasn’t until recent I realized they have been my background cheerleaders far before I knew it in supporting me and my life. It’s crazy how much you want to thank someone, before it eventually becomes weird. Fortunately, we do our best at talking regularly and physically seeing each other multiple times a year.

One of those trips is actually on the books. I’ll be going to Seattle for July 4th weekend, and I couldn’t be more excited. I’ve never been and those I’m going with, we’ve discussed moving there in the next year or two. As a money strapped merman, it’s difficult for me to say no to a new memory, so a couple more trips have already been booked as well. Portland, Oregon is coming up in two weeks with my closest cousin/travel partner, and it’s looking like Nashville, Tennessee for Memorial Day weekend. All three of these states will be states I’ve never been to, so I’m looking forward to scratching them off my travel the U.S. scratch map (and knocking them off my goals/aspirations list).

At this point, this blog could stream into many different routes, but I’ll do my best to bring it full circle, or at least keep the topics interesting. Hope everyone’s enjoyed my first narrative; maybe you can relate, maybe we have common ground, or maybe you enjoyed this semi-diary entry.

Stay tuned – more to come.

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

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